AT&T is Apple’s Barney Fife

Posted by Zealot on Sep 30, 2009

closeThis post was published 2 months 18 days ago. This info might have changed or might have become outdated.

BarneyFife Any of you ever watch The Andy Griffith Show Mayberry RFD when you were a kid? I bet you can whistle the theme, at least. Well I have been giving a lot of thought lately to the situation between AT&T and Apple, especially in the greater New York area, and it occurred to me, like a bolt from the blue….in the mobile world, AT&T is Barney Fife to the iPhone’s Sherriff Andy Taylor.

Stop looking at me like that, I mean it.

If you stop and really consider the strange sort of dance that is currently going on between the iPhone’s skyrocketing popularity and the constant vilification of the AT&T network it runs on, you will see the Barney/Andy analogy makes perfect sense. Here, just set yourself down on the davenport with a slice of Aunt Bea’s Rhubarb Apple Pie and let me explain after the jump.

First of all, consider the fact that in the New York area one of Apple’s own “Geniuses” at the iconic Apple Store on 5th Avenue put down in writing that about 30 percent of all iPhone calls in the NYC area get dropped (I bet that is one Genius looking for work today). THIRTY PERCENT! One in every three calls made on an iPhone in New York will not go through. There is no way any sane person would tolerate a phone service in this day and age that thirty percent of the time couldn’t manage to connect a call. If that were happening on a Windows Mobile phone, or even Symbian or Android, the tech blogs would be ON FIRE.

How does Apple dodge that? Well, the Genius wrote the conventional wisdom down on the Genius Bar Work Authorization right after he admitted that the fact that the customer losing 22 percent of his calls was better than average, and I quote “the problem is consistent with the service provided by AT&T.”

DARN THAT AT&T…and the faithful at the Mayberry First Baptist Church all nod.

How much are they nodding? Well, PCWorld is reporting the following…

A new study by the CFI Group reports that the iPhone has taken the top spot in customer satisfaction. The company surveyed over 1,000 smartphone users and the iPhone (surprise, surprise) came out as the top dog.

With a score of 83 out of 100, the iPhone beat out its next closest competitors (that would be the Android and the Pre) by six points. This data jibes with other recent iPhone survey data which show that iPhone 3GS usersare happy, and a rather unscientific Technologizer study from about a year ago, that iPhones users love their choice.

Further, 92 percent of iPhone owners surveyed said that it was the "ideal" handset. That’s high praise–but it’s not nearly as much of a lovefest for AT&T.

iPhone owners on AT&T scored the network at 69 points, the lowest of any of the mobile operator and well below T-Mobile, Verizon and even Sprint. Even non-iPhone AT&T users gave the network a higher rating. Another survey from last year showed dissatisfaction with AT&T’s 3G network; it appears not much has changed.

So everyone seems to accept that neither the personable and charming Apple or the iPhone are at fault for such mind bogglingly poor phone service, it is all that stupid, overloaded, incompetent AT&T.

Just like Andy and Barney. Andy was always so pleasant and warm and homey, he just seemed to exude calm, wise leadership and a gentle amusement with the little problems of those common folk he cared so much for and looked after in his quiet way. Barney on the other hand was jittery, egotistical, hysterical, not terribly bright and prone to disasters. Still, Sherriff Andy would always assure us Barney’s heart was in the right place, that he was really trying and any shenanigans he got up to, Andy would sort out with patience and down-home common sense by the end of the episode.

None of Barney’s chaos ever reflected badly on his commanding officer, Andy. Oh my no, not good ole’ Andy. In fact, Barney losing his handcuff keys and accidently locking himself to the squad car the night of the county fair when he was honorary pie competition judge just made Andy look better, more clever by comparison and long suffering to boot. The more AT&T’s network falters, the more it distracts from any iPhone problems or complaints against Apple. In fact, Apple can blame just about anything on AT&T AND say that the whole problem is that the iPhone is so popular it is overloading their network at the same time. Scapegoat and proof of superiority all in one…just like Barney.

Now I had better dig into that pie before I take this analogy any further and the Apple Tablet becomes Opie and Steve Ballmer morphs into Otis the town drunk.

How about a tall glass of milk with that too, boys?

Zealot (491 Posts) - Website | Twitter | Facebook


By day a department manager and writer for a major network device vendor...by night Zealot stalks the mean magnetic streets, striking fear into the hearts of bandwidth abusers and theme park mascots. Zealot has been involved with mobile devices for more than a decade now, starting off with dumb phones, moving to PDAs and then to smartphones, notebooks and netbooks with the odd PMP thrown in. Most of his mobile time currently is spent on a Treo Pro, Zune HD, Thinkpad T61, Gigabyte M912M or a Hackintoshed Compaq Mini 704. He proudly groks the Geek community and considers himself a Neo Maxi Zune Dweebie (thanks Will Wheaton!).

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  • Yeah but unlike AT&T, Barney is funny. That's why I watched Andy Griffith, because of Barney (yes I am a 16yo that watches Andy Griffith). When Barney left the show, I stopped watching.

    But I see your point. I have friends in various parts of the nation who complain about AT&T's shaky service in areas, mainly the large metropolitan areas. I myself have never seen any problems in the small town I live in. I've always gotten good reception and I have yet to get any of my calls dropped.
  • badersk
    Good post. I have found the the equipment has just as much to do with dropped calls if not more so than the network in major cities with strong networks. PDA phones are well known to have marginal phones radios and with my tilt the radio rom has a large impact on reception and signal lock. But don't blame the iPhone blame it all on at&t
  • Mayberry RFD was a different show than the Andy Griffith Show. It was more akin to the continuing adventures of those left in Mayberry when Andy Griffith decided he had seen enough of the small Carolina town.

    Not that I watched every episode, but I MAY have.
  • In my childhood memories, the two just sort of merge....how disturbing is that?
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