|
Turkey stuffing, the Box method.
Ingredients:
Four poles. (best with pointy ends)
Two Lengths of Wire. (depends on the age of the turkey)
Three leashes. (with collars, two cat size, one turkey size)
One Turkey. (with feathers and a healthy fear of predatory animals)
Two Cats. (as wild and hungry as you can get them)
Case of beer. (can be substituted by wine or other to suit taste)
Two or three good mates. (if you haven't got any mates....hmmmm)
Method:
Place pointy ends of poles into ground, having carefully measured out the distances required. (Inaccurate measurements can result in total failure of stuffing, or stuffing of the wrong kind.)
Stretch the two lengths of wire between the poles in a parallel fashion. (one wire per pair of poles)
Attach turkey to one wire using the turkey sized collar and leash.
Attach cats to other wire using cat sized collars and leashes. (you may find it necessary to enlist the aid of some well gloved mates to hold the animals still.
Now here is where you see if you got your spacing right!
Release all three animals.
If you have followed the directions correctly you should now have two cats chasing the turkey back and forth between them but always just out of reach.
If this is the case, then in no time at all you will have a well stuffed turkey.
However, if you made any mistakes, you are well stuffed, but on the bright side won't be needing to feed the cats for quite a while.
For those of you who are looking for the directions on how to use the last two ingredients, I would suggest that this recipe is beyond your skill level.
Note: The humane society has pointed out that no animals would be physically harmed during the correct execution of this recipe, but, that at least one of them would require extensive psychiatric help.
|