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Look at WISBar or ICBar (based on WisBar code). They give you a menu on the title bar that shows running apps and lets you close listed apps. It also, as you asked, will actually close apps that are in the foreground when you "X" them.
These are both very easy to find. Put the name of the software into google.com - should pop right up.
Also do some searches on this site - you'll find a number of threads on the subject.
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