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Eric,
I was able to duplicate your problem of no wireless activesync whatsoever, so I hope this will help.
I have Pocket Hosts installed on my Axim. You can get it free off the Handango site.
What this little jewel does is allow you to set up a Hosts table. All you need to know is your WinXP name and its static IP address. The name is what you see when you right click "My Computer" and look at Properties/Computer Name. Your static IP is what you see from the CMD prompt after typing IPCONFIG.
Now when you start Pocket Hosts, just enter that data, press "Add" and make sure the box is checked for this Host table entry.
I found that by unselecting the box, my Axim would refuse to sync at all just as you describe.
My original reason for installing Pocket Hosts was to be able to gain Remote Access of my WinXP box from the Axim. By doing this I was able to seamlessly print to my local USB printer.
Let us know how it goes.
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