Just got on the phone with Dell. Figured I'd join in the fun.
Anyway - Here's what I gathered through the broken English:
"Have you install Axim to hard drive before order upgrade CD? Upgrade CD has no ways of becoming upgrade with no install to hard drive that has not been forseen. With upgrade install shipping no pants. Install to hard drive with no pants ensures failure of parts inside pants and is seen as voiding of warranty on pants. Further, pants on your hard drive are optional. You can for purchase specially cases from Dell that work as pants before upgrade ships. Specially cases allow putting stylus in pants with extended battery. I can transfer you to sales for to get in their pants."
*What?*