I'm going to go ahead and get it warrantied, whatever happens happens, I guess... I'll just play dumb in the hopes it'll be replaced/repaired.
But for the future, I think I'll take an ooold mini-stereo plug off some headphones and zip if off, and stick it into the headphone jack. Or something that'll plug that headphone jack... Of course I'd prefer if it was null, so it didn't actually deactivate the onboard speaker when it was plugged in to protect the headphone jack...
When I go to do that, I think I'll bust out my Dremel and buzz off those 3 little bumps found on each of the battery release sliders. I think that would be the PERFECT solution to all the times they've switched my iPAQ crazy in my pocket. I never have any call to change the battery, so I don't see how it'd really be a bother. Even without those 6 total little bumps, I could still work the sliders with a little more precision tool. :

:
Back to the drawing board!
-bertokamus-