stuff: - Wiktionary to stuff (third-person singular simple present stuffs, present participle stuffing, simple past stuffed, past participle stuffed)
1. To fill something up in a compressed manner.
She stuffed the turkey for Thanksgiving using her secret stuffing recipe of diced bread, onions, and celery .
2. To be sated.
I’m stuffed after having eaten all that turkey, mashed potatoes and delicious stuffing.
3. (British, Australian): To be broken.
It’s stuffed.
4. (vulgar, British, Australian): Insult.
Get stuffed you arsehole!
Therefore, I suggest that you bitch-slap the turkey and simply tell it to get stuffed.
Homemade stuffing is one of the classic dishes that make the Thanksgiving meal wished for and dreamed about.
Prep Time:15 min
Start to Finish:20 min
Makes: 10 servings (1/2 cup each)
3/4 cup butter or margarine
2 large celery stalks, chopped
1 medium onion, chopped (1/2 cup)
9 cups soft bread cubes (15 slices)
1 1/2 teaspoons chopped fresh thyme leaves or 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme leaves
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground sage
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1. Melt butter in 4-quart Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Cook celery and onion in butter 6 to 8 minutes, stirring occasionally, until tender. Remove Dutch oven from the heat.
2. Gently toss celery mixture and remaining ingredients, using spoon, until bread cubes are evenly coated.
3. Use to stuff one 10- to 12-pound turkey. Or to bake stuffing separately, grease 3-quart casserole or rectangular baking dish, 13x9x2 inches. Place stuffing in casserole or baking dish. Cover with lid or aluminum foil and bake at 325°F for 30 minutes; uncover and bake 15 minutes longer.
1. Stop at your local grocery store.
2. Procede to the boxed food isle.
3. Look for the box that says, "Stove Top Stuffing"
4. Buy one box; two if you're really adventurous. (don't forget beer)
5. Wait for Thanksgiving Day.
6. Wake up, shower, watch parade.
7. Watch football and drink all the beer.
8. Send wife to get more beer.
9. Watch wife as she makes the boxed "Stove Top Stuffing."
10. Eat so much you need to have your stomache pumped.
11. After returning from the hospital, check Aximsite for the contest winner.
12. Curse yet another time because you still haven't won an Aximsite contest!!!
Doing things the easy way, never leads to a tasty ending...
CORN BREAD STUFFING FOR TURKEY
1 box corn meal
2 tbsp. thyme
1 pkg. (1 lb.) bread cubes
1 lg. onion, chopped
1 med. green pepper, chopped
4 stalks celery, chopped
1 pkg. onion soup mix
3 c. water
1/2 stick butter
1 can Cream of Chicken soup
Dash of pepper
Make one loaf of corn bread as directed on the Corn Meal box, omitting the sugar and adding 1 tablespoon of thyme. When corn bread is cool, crumble and mix with the bread cubes. Bring the water to a boil and add soup mix, onion, celery and green pepper and let simmer for 15 minutes. Remove from the stove and add the remaining thyme, butter and pepper. Pour this mixture over the bread mixture and let stand for 20 minutes until liquid is absorbed. Add Cream of Chicken soup and put into casserole. When you are ready to serve, heat the casserole in 350 degree oven for 1/2 hour.
1. Preheat oven to 350 degree F (175 degree C). Spread the white and whole wheat bread cubes in a single layer on a large baking sheet. Bake for 5 to 7 minutes in the preheated oven, or until evenly toasted. Transfer toasted bread cubes to a large bowl.
2. In a large skillet, cook the sausage and onions over medium heat, stirring and breaking up the lumps until evenly browned. Add the celery, sage, rosemary, and thyme; cook, stirring, for 2 minutes to blend flavors.
3. Pour sausage mixture over bread in bowl. Mix in chopped apples, dried cranberries, parsley, and liver. Drizzle with turkey stock and melted butter, and mix lightly. Spoon into turkey to loosely fill.
* 10 slices oatmeal bread, dried overnight, then cubed
* 2 Winesap or Haralson apples, peeled and chopped
* 1 onion, chopped
* 1 cup raisins
* 2 eggs, beaten
* 1/2 tsp. salt
* 1/4 tsp. pepper
* 1/4 cup butter, melted
* 1/3 cup cold water
PREPARATION:
Combine all ingredients except butter and water in large bowl and toss with hands to mix. Sprinkle melted butter and water over dressing, tossing with a fork to combine. Use to stuff 12-14 pound turkey.
You can also place this stuffing in a casserole dish, drizzle with some chicken or turkey broth, cover, and bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour. Uncover and bake 15 minutes longer. 8 servings
1. Go ask your wife/husband (or girlfriend/boyfriend) to buy the most expensive turkey at Giant Eagle (where we shop ;) )
2. Then, let your wife/husband (or girlfriend/boyfriend) come home, then tell her/him to go back to Giant Eagle, and buy the cheapest stuffing there, but buy them out (take all of it).
3. Tell your wife/husband (or girlfriend/boyfriend) to go to the bank, because at this point, you are proably out of money :D .
4. Bring everything home. Stuff the cheap stuffing in the microwave, but you didn't realize you needed to take the top off. Some of the stuffing is burned now.
5. Take a jack hammer, and make a hole through the turkey down the middle (it's a big turkey).
6. Take the stuffing, and put all of it in the turkey. If all of it doesn't fit, force your wife/husband (or girlfriend/boyfriend) to eat all of it... :D
7. Then take all of those pieces of turkey on the counter, and fill the hole.
8. Then cook it till it looks like it is done.
9. Then try to enjoy....
__________________
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Taylor
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2. Ask for stuffing recipe (for the umpteenth time)
3. Grandma will tell you she can't remember exactly how much of what goes into stuffing because she's doesn't measure anything out.
4. Grandma will then volunteer to make it.
5. On Thanksgiving, tidy up house, lock up dog, and wait for Grandma to bring delicious stuffing. If you're really nice, she may even bring homemade noodles.
6. Play the "pitiful pregnancy woman" card* so you can go throught the food line first.
*May not work for male aximsite members. You may have to fake a knee injury or something. You know, pull some "old football injury" story out.
I Turkey.... 2 bottle of Mezcal and one bottle of Absinthe ..
u can chose which to use of urself ... both are almost equally potent..
open up either bottle and gulp down the contents.. within 15 minutes of opening.
after that i dont think ud need to have the turkey at all if u wake up in the middle just open the other bottle n take a few swigs ... should do the trick :D
P.S - i know the contest is over i just needed to get the recipe off my chest !!
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Corn Bread Stuffing For Turkey
