Could you perhaps be a bit more respectful to your Scottish ancestors? After all without us you would all be dead from bacterial infections would you not?
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History is a wonderful thing - one's country's history that is. Oh how I long to hear great many centuries old stories and tales from far off lands, such as the good old US of A and the once mighty, but definitely now flighty, Australia. However I am to be sadly let down again by those lands, and ultimately their people, because they, well, how shall I put it? They aint got none.
I am of course deliberately paying deference to the indigenous populations of these occupied territories but I know they will forgive me as one whose history is on a par with their own.
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They did about us Scots you know. So much so they built a wall to keep us in - astute people the Romans. Unfortunately it isn't doing it's job very well as I will be crossing it myself tomorrow but panic ye not, I will be returning to the wonder land on Sunday.
Do Americans use walls as battleground tactics?
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I mean I know it's not the same as physically visiting these places but I have to seriously ask myself if, as a pale, white-skinned north western European, would I want to visit places where the temperature rises further than the thermostat in my cooker. In fact I have just asked myself that very question and I have come up with the answer no.
Does that count?
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Sadly no and once again you have failed to bite. I salute you. You are far too powerful to fight against. I take pleasure knowing you are not my enemy.
Talking of which have you ever had the pleasure of colonic irrigation?
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