How can you dismiss centuries of tradition in two short sentences like that? Oh sorry I forget - I'm the one with centuries of tradition and, of course, heritage.
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There's nothing funny about the truth Fangy, however when it is uttered by the progeny of this fine land's underworld I take comfort in the knowledge that my genetic antecedents remained on the straight and narrow hence ensuring my continued presence in the upper echelons of a truly Great Britain.
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The majority of history books get it all wrong, but that is all part of the greatest secret ever kept, until now.
I feel it is my duty to reveal the truth.
Back in the 17 hundreds, all the most talented, intelligent and generally interesting people in Britain got together and decided they wanted to get away from all the, shall we say, people of less than sparkling capabilities.
To this end, they conspired to commit crimes that would get them transported to a place as far from the others as possible.
There was great concern that the "upper echelons" would see through their plans, but they showed themselves to be far too dimwitted and happily provided the free luxury cruises.
One of the downsides to this Exodus was the complete collapse of British society, so every antipodean knows that a part of their life will have to be spent back amongst the northern bovines helping them bumble through.
It's our cross to bare, but we do it smiling and with good grace.
Well I never. Speechless I am which is a rarity. So Australia's present position in world affairs can be traced back to:
"...all the most talented, intelligent and generally interesting people in Britain..."
deserting the Motherlands shores in the 1700's and setting sail on the good ship lollipop for southern shores. Interesting. How would Magwitch fit into this scenario I wonder? Would Master Pip have such a bequest bestowed upon him by any other sheep sha - sorry rustler. It is an interesting hypothesis I suppose but one which can be completely ridiculed at every juncture.
They say that history is written by the victors which is why history books, used in Australian schools, are written and printed in Great Britain, or so I read in that well known Australian journal Robbers & Blaggers Weekly.
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