Box

Apparently they say things like " Oh dear, he's having trouble choosing between the pink and the brown" or " for those of you watching in black and white, the pink ball is just behind the green"

nonentity

He is sadly missed. Like the fish I had for tea list night. A goldfish he was or should I say Moby was his name and he was a Goliath. Three years we had him but his time was up last night and he went fine with some ginger and dill.

@ last

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Box

I'm sure Scottish Dill is quite plentiful around your house.

I can imagine fillet of Goldfish could be very tasty, but can you manage the entire fish in one sitting?

nonentity

No chance. He has to last at least three meals - for us all. Goldfish food is so expensive you know.

@ last

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kcallahan

I thought eating goldfish was only done by people pledging to fraternities?

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nonentity

I've activated my stupid gene again so stick with me. Now I must ask what on earth does the Non tribe eating their beloved pet have to do with the initiation rituals of spotty-faced American students?

I mean at least we killed Goliath humanely by beating him with a small hammer until he flapped no more. Killing a goldfish by any other means is illegal here and we are certainly not allowed to eat them alive. That would land us a spell at her Majesty's Pleasure.

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Box

Those little hammers are worth a lot of money, I've seen some go for thousands of scotish pesos.

I've heard that they are handed down through the generations to the most deserving and successful son.

How much did you pay for yours Non?

kcallahan

They were passed down and Non had to pay for them?

Wow, glad I'm not related to Non.

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Box

Well Kc, would you consider a person who couldn't remember the name of the family pet that he had just beaten to death and eaten, a "deserving and successful son"?

kcallahan

Did that family pet have a name before it was beaten and eaten? If so, no. :(

If it didn't have a name, it's fair game. :)

That's why all my fish have names. Of course, I rarely remember them later on.

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Box

In his first murderous post he mentions that the fish was named Moby and that it was a Goliath.
Then he describes beating poor Goliath to death.

Perhaps he has in fact murdered two fish, probably known as Bob and Gladys, and is trying to throw us off the scent.

I'm quite sure that nothing relating to Moby of Melville fame, could ever be referred to as a goliath in the Non household.

kcallahan

That sounds like a crime of fish portions without regard to gill or fin.

She this be reported to the Webmaster?

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Box

I'm sure he has some Angle to get let off the hook.

But the Scales of Justfish, sorry justice, are often weighted in such a way that the case could flounder because of all his red herrings.

kcallahan

Maybe we should throw him to the sharks?

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nonentity

Bloody Hell!

A man goes to a pet shop to stock up on supplies and comes back to find he has been castigated good and proper.

Let me clear up the misunderstanding regarding the name of the deceased fish. He was called Moby and in the confusion between grief for the fish and the pleasure gained by eating said fish I inexcusably mixed his pet name with his pedigree name, which was of course Goliath. I apologise for said confusion and I realise that in my absence this must have troubled you both greatly. Reading back through your posts I can almost hear your synapses firing and crashing about with the tumbleweed in your heads.

Now the small hammer I refer to is indeed a Non family heirloom. It is a magnificent example of the family of hammers known as Dwarf Ball Pein. These are extremely rare and we covet them as precious things. However it will probably trouble you to learn that here in Scotland heirlooms are passed on free of charge, and also inheritance tax, to the first born son. This practice started in the late 1700's following the period known as The Liberation when we successfully managed to rid ourselves of the worst dregs of society who habitually tried to steal our heirlooms and sell them back to us at exorbitant prices. Where we sent those dregs escapes me for the moment but I'm sure at some point I will remember and I will be sure to let you know.

Oh.... I nearly remembered there. Blast this poor memory, I shall just have to eat more fish.

@ last

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