That's a very topical question for an American is it not?
Unsure as I am of the rotund one's itinerary I would suspect that he would try to limit his time in your land to the minimum - this is of course understandable just in case Americanisation is catching. Can you imagine Box performing a gangsta rap? Also Slim Shady he most certainly is not - in more ways than one and certainly not restricted to stature. He failed in his mission to destroy all Hand-Eggs as he was distracted by the sale of sunny-side-up-eggs in the local café which were served with a delicious side salad which, being American, contained no salad at all, only mayonnaise.
I have heard through the joint UDL/Yankee intelligence gathering network, which is quite obviously a misnomer, that he escaped detection by border guards by claiming to be part of the Pinky and Perky stage show although it is unclear which trotter he was supposed to be playing. Perhaps Del or Rodney, we'll never know.
I have done some research into the offences which Box is thought to have committed in Florida before he escaped and I think they highlight why I am so concerned about the practices and procedures of this rogue state (Google if you don't believe me):
1. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
2. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
3. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
4. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
5. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
Just how is one meant to survive in Fl if the above is illegal?
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Don't you know that we Americans make allowances for visitors? (we're quite welcoming and hospitable that way because we're not burdened by centuries of isolation and provincialism).
That's all well and good Grimy but having researched this matter further I have come across some equally confusing and downright disturbing North Carolina laws. I would appreciate your comments.
It’s against the law to sing off key. (Are all American artists from NC then?)
Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields. (Is there anything else they are useful for?)
If a man and a woman who aren’t married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married. (So much for the institution of marriage in NC)
Bingo games may not last over 5 hours unless it is held at a fair. (And I thought gambling was illegal?)
Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited. (As long as it's only the dogs that get arrested and castrated then I agree with this law.)
Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times. (Unless they are visiting a hotel with an unmarried man)
So my final question then is how is the discerning visitor meant to know, and therefore be able to abide by, these "laws"?
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I would but, in case you don't know, I've never actually been to NC so I couldn't possibly have read the fine print you talk of. Is NC far from Scotland and can I drive to get there? That's quite important to me.
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I never said anything about jumping did I? That would involve my feet not being connected, in some way, to the ground, which is a psychological, physiological and psychiatric impossibility. Excuse me while I mop my brow, consult my medicine cabinet and lie down for a short while.
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