kcallahan

That's good 'cause Bears can be mean.

Isn't it time for you to pop in to the pub?

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nonentity

In the year and a month that I have been frequenting this place have you ever heard me say I'm off to the pub? Saying that I will be attending a real ale festival next Wednesday where I will have one just for you.

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kcallahan

Are you a true Scotsman?

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Box

Isn't a true Scot too cheap to spend his money in a Pub?

kcallahan

Then, are the Pubs free in Scotland?

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nonentity

No, only the kirks. Wee Free's hate pubs.

Normally I stand at the bar looking like a little lost puppy dog and eventually someone buys me a drink. Never tried it?

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kcallahan

Standing at the bar looking like a lost puppy or buying someone a drink?

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nonentity

I just came over all hot and sweaty there. Buy a drink for someone else? My wallet would never recover.

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kcallahan

Are you the same guy with the scottish accent that I keep buying drinks for?

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nonentity

My bar is the local ASDA (Walmart). They do a lovely Californian Red that I might just have mentioned before, but don't tell Fangy, he can't stand alcohol and gets quite tetchy if I mention it to him. What will he drink in the mess anyway? Do they serve Tizer?

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Box

Do they do the Californian Red in a brown paper bag just for you or is that the national drinking vessel?

kcallahan

Isn't that a soft drink?

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nonentity

That would be for Buckfast Box, the worlds strongest wine that tastes like Castrol GTX mixed with rocket fuel and something that an Aussie sheep farmer supplied after a night in with Dolly.

Sound familiar?

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kcallahan

We had a name for that, but, it escapes me right now. Can you give me a hint?

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nonentity

Fosters?...

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