Jukov

What is brown , black and suits a Taliban?






Rottweiler








Am I winning yet?

Captain Hook

Whats brown and sounds like a bell?



Dung

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psionandy

Whats red and eats rocks?
A Red Rock Eater.

Whats green and eats rocks?
A Red Rock Eater in Disguise

Whats red and Doesn't eat rocks?
A Red Rock Eater on a low rock diet

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Captain Hook

A woman walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around, then spots the car of her dreams and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a small fart escapes her.

Extremely embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now. But, as she turns back, there standing next to her, is a salesman.

"Good day, Madame. How may we help you today? Uncomfortably, she asks, “What is the price of this one?"

He answers, "Madame, I'm afraid I can't say....
If you farted just touching it... you're going to positively crap yourself when you hear the price."

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Captain Hook

A blonde decides to do something she hasn’t done before, and goes to the video store to rent her first X-rated adult video.

After looking around the store, she selects a title that sounds very stimulating.

She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR.

To her disappointment there's nothing but static on the screen, She calls the store to complain stating, "I just rented an adult movie from you and there is nothing on the tape but static"

The clerk apologized about the defective video and asked, "Which title did you rent?"

The blonde replied, "It's called 'Head Cleaner'

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Captain Hook

One day President Bush was visiting Queen Elizabeth and she decided to take him for a tour of London in the Royal Carriage. The carriage was being pulled by six Royal Stallions and one of them suddenly passed gas. It sounded like a 21-gun salute it was so loud! The smell permeated the inside of the carriage and the Queen was totally devastated.

"I apologize profusely for the terrible smell inside the carriage", she said.

"Oh, that's alright", said the George, "for a minute there I thought it was the horse!"

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Captain Hook

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea...Does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?

Am I winning yet?????

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psionandy

Whats red, eats rocks and goes up and down?

A Red Rock Eater in an elavator

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Rsaturn9

What Time is it when a Elephant sits on a Fence?



Time to get a new Fence:approve:

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pdahound

Q. What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A. When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance

aximbigfan

what is the differnce between a dead lawer and a dead dog in the road????

there are skid markes before the dog.........


chris

Rsaturn9

How can you carry water in a net?




When it is Ice

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pdahound

So why do Gorillas have big nostrils?

Big Fingers.

Jukov

Why have you decided to study medicine ? - an old lawyer asks his son
Well , says the son , Ithink it's much more needed ... Have you ever heard someone cry out :" Is there a lawyer , people, is there a lawyer!!!!!!???????

Jukov

Originally Posted by aximbigfan

what is the differnce between a dead lawyer and a dead dog in the road???? there are skid markes before the dog......... chris

- and reverse marks after the lawyer