Holiday Eating Tips
>
> 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table
>knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave
>immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
>
> 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt
>scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You
>can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up!
>Who cares that has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if
>you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something.
>It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two.
>It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
>
> 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
> gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of
>your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
>
> 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk
>or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a
>sports car with an automatic transmission.
>
> 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to
>control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas
>party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hull-looo-ooow?
>
> 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and
>New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.
> This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the
>buffet
>table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
>
> 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
> frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position
> yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before
> becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes.
> If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
>
> 8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin Mincemeat. Have a slice of each.
> Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin.
> Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert?
>Labor Day?
>
> 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
>mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean,
> have some standards.
>
> 10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the
>party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.
>
> Remember this motto to live by:
> "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
>arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather
>to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body
>thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
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Holiday Eating Tips
> Remember this motto to live by:
> "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
>arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather
>to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body
>thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
Yeah, I'm definately liking that part.
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Holiday Eating Tips
> 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and
>New Year's. ...circling the
>buffet
>table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
what a ride!"
I consider this exercise. In fact I try to do a few reps. At least until I fell the burn (plop, plop, fizz, fizz).
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Time for the season.
Frenchy's post required a detailed response! Of course!
[Disclaimer. Frenchy's post was not generated using PocketMOD.]
Originally Posted by Frenchy
Holiday Eating Tips
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table
knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave
immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
True. Final Answer. Rum balls are good!
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare.
In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You
can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up!
I hope this includes Chivas Regal! True. Final Answer.
Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if
you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something.
It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two.
It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
Three or more, a plus! Winner, 1st Place!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of
your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
Yorkshire puddin' in a pinch. Lots of beef gravy. Final answer! One problem with Yorkshire pudding!
Don't bump! The pudding might roll down the bar!
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk
or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a
sports car with an automatic transmission!
Or sleepin' durin' a something or other!
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to
control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas
party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hull-looo-ooow?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and
New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.
This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
Of course, admit the 10-pounder is your first serving! More to come! See **Below**.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position
yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before
becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes.
If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
Beginning of the doggie bag! Pack a few to go home with! See **Above**.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin Mincemeat. Have a slice of each.
Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin.
Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
[B]Three is the minimum fo' sure! And, pack two extra in doggie bag! See **Above, Above.**[B]
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean,
have some standards.
Please avoid unless the host/hostess has Jim Beam to pour on/in!
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the
party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.
Remember this motto to live by:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather
to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body
thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
Sounds a bit like the philosopher, Dean Martin!
"You fall out of your mother's wom, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave." Quentin Crisp
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> 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt
>scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You
>can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up!
>Who cares that has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if
>you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something.
>It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two.
>It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
what's even rarer is "single-malt scotch" n eggnog. mix it all up, I perfer bailey's but find the closest "beverage" and mix it all up. but please have a dd.
oh and I liked the outro. nice one frenchy
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Definately words to remember this holiday season :) Thanks, Frenchy!
