9 rules for dating my son
I know the 8 rules for dating my daughter have been out for a while. And as a father of a 11 year old littler girl, I will be handing them out to all her future dates. However I also have a son, and I am going to bypass the date and go directly to the father with my set of rules.
9 SIMPLE RULES FOR DATING MY SON
Rule One: When my son comes to your house to pick up your daughter, please have her ready. He will honk once, and if not out in 5 minutes, he will drive to his backup dates .
Rule Two: You should be honored that my son had allowed your daughter to seen with him. Your daughters popularity and charisma has just skyrocketed, due to the association with my son. My son will see your daughter as long as he wants, they will be allowed to hold hands, he may put his arm around her whenever he likes. It also should be noted that my son is a gentleman and your daughter will be treated like a lady. DO NOT UNDER ANY CRICUMSTANCES THREATEN MY SON IN ANY MANNER.
Rule Three: My son is first class. Anything my son wears should be considered in fashion and acceptable. He will look good and expects your daughter to look good. Anything she wears while in the company of my son should be approved by my son beforehand. If he has asked her out, she should already have a list of what is acceptable to him. Make sure she abides by the list.
Rule Four: Rest assured that me and my son have talked about sex. At this time there is should be no concern in this matter. I have informed him that not only is he too young, but girls like your daughter may try to entice him as to entrap him. Please tell you daughter to refine from this and my son is wise to it. When sex does become an issue, a new set of rules be forwarded.
Rule Five: I do not care to get to know you or your daughter until my son informs me that he intends to see her more than a couple times. At that time I will require a complete family history, medical history and financial report from you. These items should be delivered to me no later that 24 hours after my request.
Rule Six: My son is very popular and I have made a point to tell him he needs not to be tied down to any single girl this early in his life. He may be seeing several girls at once, or your daughter may be lucky enough to the only one at the time. DO NOT expect that you daughter is the only one.
Rule Seven: If your daughter is not ready when my sons come to pick her up, and he decides to wait, I expect the following to be furished:
Latest Sports page, Coca Cola Classic on ice, some type of snack, perferrable shrimp, with spicy sauce. He may wait as long as he wants. After the Coke and Shrimp are gone, and he has finished the sports page, he may to decide to leave is your daughter is not ready. LET HIM!!!!
Rule Eight: Understand this. My son was raised my me. He is a perfect gentleman. He will take your daughter where he wants, and will have her back to you at a very respectable hour. Upon return, do not ask my son where he has gone, or what they did. He is a good kid, and will probably tell you all the details anyway.
Rule Nine: My son and I are very close. If any of these are broken, or if he in anyway feels like you or your daughter had disrespected him, then you should know 1 thing. I am a proud member of the NRA, have contacts on the police department, other fathers of fine young men who feel just like I do, have black belts in Okinawan Kenpo, and Weapons, and regularly playe golf with 3 lawyers, and 3 judges. May I just say do break any of these rules, and we may just one day become friends.