Ok this might be kind of long but as some of the old timers on here know I am a US Army vetern (Vietnam) and I take a lot of pride in my service to my country and I stay tuned into the Military through a couple of sites.
http://www.military.com/
being my favortie and when I came acorss the humor page fell in love with someof these so I thought i would post read or ignor at your pleasure. By the way I am not trying to make any type of statement with this post mearly share some humor, granted the military background people will get some of these that may not be funny to a non vet...... hope you enjoy. :approve:
"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never
encountered automatic weapons."
- General MacArthur
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"You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me."
- U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
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"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ... I Shall Fear No
Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."
- At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena,
Japan
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"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."
- Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
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"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
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"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean
than submarines in the sky."
- From an old carrier sailor
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"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's
probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."
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"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always
have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
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"Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive
flying club."
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"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and
pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, .... the
pilot dies."
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"Never trade luck for skill."
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The three most common expressions (or famous last
words) in aviation are:
"Why is it doing that?"
"Where are we?"
and "Oh S...!"
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"Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."
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"Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a
pilot pregnant."
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"Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to
successfully complete the flight."
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"A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck;
three in a row is prevarication."
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"I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous."
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"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up
there!"
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"Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag
for the purpose of storing dead batteries."
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"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your
plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing
anything about it."
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"When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was
forgotten."
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"Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral
will be held on a sunny day."
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Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: "When a prang
(crash) seems
inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the
vicinity as slow and gently as possible."
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"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just
barely kill you."
- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
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"A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his
plane to its maximum."
- Jon McBride, astronaut
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"If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far
into the crash as possible."
- Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
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"Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."
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"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in
peacetime."
- Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ,
1970
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"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
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Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do
not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized
by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar
space. It is much more difficult to fly there."
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"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes
full power to taxi to the terminal."
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As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft,
having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash
truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What
happened?". The pilot's
reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!
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