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Is this network listed under the "Configure Wireless Networks" (Start, Settings, Connections (tab), Connections, Advanced (tab), Network Card)? If so, hold the stylus on it and select Remove Settings. As long as it's in the list, it won't matter that the "Automatically connect..." box is checked but removing it should prevent the attempt.
If that doesn't work, you might also try changing the channel on your own network so it is found first.
BTW, the reason for the red bar on the lock is probably because the network has encryption (probably WEP) enabled.
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-Ike-
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