Well I may have this one solved....don't know why I didn't try this before. Can someone else give it a try and let me know if it works for them.
1 - set up a dummy server and change the sync options to manual as outlined previsouly, then you can delete the dummy server
2 - next time you put the axim in the cradle let it sync once
3 - while the Axim is still in the cradle use the program of your choice to shut down active sync on the device
4 - in the Activesync window on your PC click on File, Close
Mine has been in the cradle for over half an hour now and it hasn't yet turned itself on or tried to sync, so it is charging the whole time......sometimes we overlook the obvious